Good stuff Mitch! I am looking forward to your next read. I was sitting and pondering the other day and found that Leadership, Masculinity can be summed up in one word “Direction”. Now how that all comes together is the hard part. Happy for your new journey my friend.
I definitely was shaped by the idea of being the “go-to guy” as being valuable. That somehow pulling answers to everything made me useful. When really it just isolates you in many circumstances and makes you seem untouchable.
So true. I think it comes from the pressure on ourselves to be "fixers". If there is a problem. We are supposed to be able to get a resolution in place. But making ourselves that one dimensional robs us of knowing what better answers are out there. Its a persona that's easy to fall into because it makes us feel "valuable".
I think there is still value in being this person, as this is a crucial trait for being a good leader. However, I do remember feeling the immense pressure to be this person growing up. It wasn’t until I started to admit when I didn’t know something that this pressure lifted. This was actually how I really accelerated my career these past few years: a readiness to admit when you don’t know the answer, but also a willingness to go and search out that answer. This has lead to me being that “go-to guy” on my small team of 4. I do still feel that pressure on occasion, but being able to handle that pressure and still deliver on your duties is what makes a great leader.
Now, I’m not saying I’m this great leader and I have it all figured out. I’m still pretty young in my career and growing. But leadership is a trait in me that has been pointed out by many people throughout my life, so recently I’ve been erring on the side of believing these people.
Great point! It's important to remember that this doesn't define who you are; rather, it's a reflection of who you are.
Being a "fixer" can be a positive trait. The challenge lies in recognizing when something needs fixing and when it should be allowed to heal on its own.
I often misinterpret the signals and try to fix things that might be better off just being cared for and left to heal. Forcing the issue can sometimes make it worse.
You sound like a great leader, I'm sure your team appreciates you.
“A man lives in a home and has a wife. If he doesn’t have a home and a wife, he must not have a good job. If he doesn’t have a good job, he probably hasn’t worked hard enough.”
It seems like the world has changed so much but the measure of a modern man is still tied to these same ideas. I wish I was judged by my character. I rent, I’m single and I love floral design. I wish I didn’t feel bad about that.
Good stuff Mitch! I am looking forward to your next read. I was sitting and pondering the other day and found that Leadership, Masculinity can be summed up in one word “Direction”. Now how that all comes together is the hard part. Happy for your new journey my friend.
I definitely was shaped by the idea of being the “go-to guy” as being valuable. That somehow pulling answers to everything made me useful. When really it just isolates you in many circumstances and makes you seem untouchable.
So true. I think it comes from the pressure on ourselves to be "fixers". If there is a problem. We are supposed to be able to get a resolution in place. But making ourselves that one dimensional robs us of knowing what better answers are out there. Its a persona that's easy to fall into because it makes us feel "valuable".
Great comment!
I think there is still value in being this person, as this is a crucial trait for being a good leader. However, I do remember feeling the immense pressure to be this person growing up. It wasn’t until I started to admit when I didn’t know something that this pressure lifted. This was actually how I really accelerated my career these past few years: a readiness to admit when you don’t know the answer, but also a willingness to go and search out that answer. This has lead to me being that “go-to guy” on my small team of 4. I do still feel that pressure on occasion, but being able to handle that pressure and still deliver on your duties is what makes a great leader.
Now, I’m not saying I’m this great leader and I have it all figured out. I’m still pretty young in my career and growing. But leadership is a trait in me that has been pointed out by many people throughout my life, so recently I’ve been erring on the side of believing these people.
Great point! It's important to remember that this doesn't define who you are; rather, it's a reflection of who you are.
Being a "fixer" can be a positive trait. The challenge lies in recognizing when something needs fixing and when it should be allowed to heal on its own.
I often misinterpret the signals and try to fix things that might be better off just being cared for and left to heal. Forcing the issue can sometimes make it worse.
You sound like a great leader, I'm sure your team appreciates you.
“A man lives in a home and has a wife. If he doesn’t have a home and a wife, he must not have a good job. If he doesn’t have a good job, he probably hasn’t worked hard enough.”
It seems like the world has changed so much but the measure of a modern man is still tied to these same ideas. I wish I was judged by my character. I rent, I’m single and I love floral design. I wish I didn’t feel bad about that.
A core principle that you will see running throughout this series is that being a man, is, at its core, just being a good person.
I understand your sentiment. That quote hits hard, as that has been my entire upbringing.
But I want you to know, that you don't need permission from anyone to be happy about who you are, and what you enjoy.
Enjoy life, be kind to others, and leave the world a little better than you found it. Everything else doesn't really matter.
Now go make a beautiful bouquet and enjoy the process. This random dude on the internet is rooting for you!