Weekly Reset: Don't Take It Seriously

The biggest win is just enjoying the game.

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"As it is with a play, so it is with life – what matters is not how long the acting lasts, but how good it is." — Seneca

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Winning.
It can feel like that's what matters most.
“Second place is a first loser.”
A quote heard often.
One I've even said myself.

We can feel thrown into a
pressure cooker we never chose.
Fighting and clawing our way
to what we think is the top,
trying to escape.

But this is just one story.
One view.
One perspective.
And perspectives can change.
We can change.
We can always choose a different way to see things.

Two Kinds of Games

Think back to childhood.
Playing games with friends.
Games with no real
winners or losers.
Just fun.
The game itself was the point.

Now think of another kind of game.
High School.
Sports, spelling bees, debate club.
Games played for stakes.
For status.
For awards.
For being "the best."

Both can be fun.
But one,
if we're not careful,
can become a heavy burden.
For us,
and for others.

It's been shown
that when we tie rewards
to something we enjoy,
our natural love for it can fade.
When we turn parts of life into contests
for recognition,
for having more—
it divides us.

It turns working together into competition.

This way of seeing life is a choice.
We chose it once.
We can choose to see it differently again.

Letting Life Be Fun

Life is hard.
That's true for everyone.
But take a moment.
Pause.
How often does it
really matter to be "first"?
Not very often.

Most of life just… is.
We often make it harder
by layering on more competition,
more meaning,
than it needs.

Our point of view makes all the difference.

Let’s look at a simple moment.

The Old Lens:
Shopping.
Cart full.
You’re tired, ready to be home.
Someone zips in front of you at the self-checkout.

Your chest tightens.
A hot flash of anger.
The nerve.
The disrespect.
An old story starts playing in your head.
A story of being wronged.
You're fuming over 30 seconds
you didn't even know were important.
You're competing in a race with no prize.
This way of seeing makes life
feel like a constant fight.

A Different Lens:
Shopping.
Cart full.
Ready to be home.
Someone zips in front of you.

The same flash of anger might arise.
It’s an old, familiar spark.
But this time,
you just notice it.
You don't have to act on it.
You don't have to let it take over.

You take a breath.
You zoom out.

You look at your cart,
full of good things.
You look at the person in front of you—
really look.
They seem rushed.
Stressed.
Maybe they're racing to pick up a sick child.
Maybe they had a terrible day.
Maybe they're just lost in their own world.
Does it really matter why?

Suddenly,
they aren't your competition.
They're just another person,
living their own complicated life.
The anger softens.
It might become empathy.
Or even just amusement at the idea
of getting worked up over this.

Maybe,
it becomes a quiet gratitude.
Gratitude that you are not in such a rush.
Gratitude for your full cart.
Gratitude for the space to take this extra moment,
to breathe,
to simply be, right here, in this line.

You didn't win.
You didn't lose.
You were just there.
And in that,
you found a quiet peace the person
who rushed ahead probably missed entirely.
And that’s the point.

Try This: Playing a Different Game

This week,
to notice the "games" you play.

1. Notice a "Win-Lose" Moment:
   Where do you feel yourself competing for status,
   for being "first,"
   or for "winning" when the stakes might not be real?
   (At work, in traffic, online?)

2. Question the "Rules":
   Ask: Who made the rules for this game?
   Are they helping me or just adding stress?
   What’s the real prize for winning here?
   Is it worth the cost to my peace of mind?

3. Choose a "Win-Win" Game:
   What would it look like to play this differently?
   To aim for connection, not competition?
   For learning, not just "winning"?
   For fun, not for status?
   How can you shift your view from "I win, you lose" to "what would a shared win look like?"

Life Isn't Always a Competition

Most of life isn't about
winning or losing.
It's about being here.
Connecting.
Learning.
Playing.

When we stop taking
every moment so seriously,
when we stop turning every
situation into a contest,
we find a new kind of freedom.
A new kind of joy.

We give ourselves permission
to simply enjoy the game—
the beautiful,
complicated,
often funny,
infinite game of being alive.

And that,
that might just be
the biggest win of all.