The Strength We Forgot
Leading Through Service
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." - Dalai Lama
From Protection to Contribution
Last time, we walked the fine line between protection and control.
Between the shield and the cage.
We saw how true strength often means:
restraint,
trust,
letting go.
Knowing when to stand firm, and when to step aside.
But stepping aside isn't emptiness.
Letting go isn't weakness.
It creates space.
Space for what?
For a different kind of power.
A strength rooted not in taking, but in giving.
Not in dominance, but in service.
Not in control, but in contribution.
Beyond Taking: The Power of Building
For too long, the script read differently.
Be the leader.
Take charge.
Command. Control. Accumulate.
Strength meant hierarchy.
Power meant having more.
The loudest voice wins.
The one at the top holds all the cards.
We were told that serving others?
That's weakness. Submission. Demeaning. Something less-than.
But look closer.
Look at the leaders who truly built things.
The communities that thrived.
The relationships that endured.
Was their foundation dominance?
Or was it contribution?
One path leads to hollow victories; the other builds lasting meaning.
Dominance isolates; contribution connects.
History whispers a different truth.
Enduring strength isn't measured by what you own or control.
It's measured by what you build.
What you nurture.
Who you uplift.
It’s found not in commanding fear, but in earning trust.
Not in hoarding power, but in fostering potential.
The Steward's Way
Perhaps this connects to a core human way of being.
Buried under layers of competitive and zero-sum thinking.
The Steward.
Not just a caretaker, passively watching.
No.
The positive force.
The responsible guide.
Actively creating conditions for others to flourish.
The one who enables growth in others.
Who cultivates potential.
Who helps people find their own strength, by:
lending a hand,
offering resources,
clearing a path, and then, crucially, stepping back,
trusting their capability, to let them own their journey.
Service is Strength, Not Submission
This stewardship, this service – it isn't submission.
Submission is passive surrender.
Giving up your agency.
Service is an active choice.
A powerful choice.
To use your capacity, your energy, your resources
to uplift, to guide, to contribute
without needing to control the outcome.
It's leading with heart, grounded in responsibility.
Contribution Fuels Purpose (And Practicality)
Think about it.
The friend who shows up with a truck on moving day, no questions asked.
The mentor who listens deeply and asks questions that unlock your answers.
The colleague who shares knowledge freely, helping the whole team rise.
Are they weak?
Or are they demonstrating a profound, quiet strength?
The strength of contribution.
The power of stewardship.
Contribution fuels purpose.
Service strengthens connection.
Uplifting others builds resilience – in ourselves and our communities.
Each act of contribution pushes back against zero-sum thinking,
weaving a stronger social fabric,
leading to more effective collaboration
and less friction in our daily interactions.
It feels good because it is good –
aligned with our nature as people who thrive on connection.
Reflection: Finding the Steward Within
Let's reflect. Ask yourself:
Where in my life do I contribute beyond my own needs?
How do I use my strength, my skills, my presence to act as a steward for others' growth?
When I lead or support, is my primary focus on fostering their growth and autonomy (giving/enabling), or on achieving my desired outcome (controlling/taking)?
Who has acted as a "steward" for my growth? How did it feel? What small act of service could I offer today, without expectation?
The Resilient Strength of Service
Redefining strength isn't about becoming less.
It's about becoming more.
More connected.
More purposeful.
More impactful.
Moving beyond the brittle power of dominance towards the resilient strength of service.
The strongest among us aren't those who take the most.
They are those who give wisely.
Who build tables, not just climb ladders.
Who understand that true power lies not in ruling,
but in serving a purpose larger than oneself,
contributing to a healthier whole.
It’s a different way to move through the world.
Requires intention.
Requires practice.
Requires presence.
This path of service, of stewardship, demands we first learn to be truly present – with ourselves and others. Next time, we'll explore that foundational practice: Presence.